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Man's Best Friend (transcript)
Episode: Man's Best Friend episode begins at the pet store and George Liquor sees Ren and Stimpy. They both sleeping. George Liquor: at the viewers Hello! I'm George Liquor... American! laughs and looks at Ren and Stimpy, Ren and Stimpy are sleeping and the sign says "Do not tap on glass". George Liquor knocks loudly abruptly waking Ren and Stimpy. They scream. Ren and Stimpy see George Liquor. Ren: gasps A human. Look up, Stimpy. Maybe you'll buy us. and Stimpy are real life pets, dog whimpers George Liquor: up Gosh, look at the cute little rascals. Yes sir, a man needs to share his love. You know, a man NEEDS the companionship of lower lifeforms. Liquor enters pet store and comes out with Ren and Stimpy in a paper bag. He then trounces to the street and the city. George Liquor: Yes sir, I'll make them champions. For the name of Abe Lincoln! to the forest and comes in Liquor's house Welcome home, boys. You're gonna LIKE it here. and Stimpy nods "yes" Hmmmm, Let's see... Where am I gonna put you boys? at the fish AH-HA! What's this crap? Liquor grabs the fishbowl and pour down the water and fish. The fish then flops and inhales and continues to flop out the door and into the car. The fish puts a hat on and cigar on his mouth. Fish: I'm outta here, man. starts car and drives off, crashing into a trashcan and mailbox along the way. George Liquor: Awww, you boys are gonna LOVE your ol pal "George Liquor". Aren't you guys lucky? To have such a kind loving master of life. and Stimpy are crammed in the fishbowl There now. Ya happy? in the morning, Ren and Stimpy are sleeping. George Liquor: offscreen ROOM CALL! and Stimpy are wide awake Liquor is a general's uniform. George Liquor gongs the trash can. George Liquor: Fall in LINE! and Stimpy stands up Boys, I'm starting you much for the resource training program. Alright Skippy, drop and give me twenty. Liquor puts Ren on his newspaper and squeezing Ren's butt Let's see what you've got in there. down the Ren's butt and backs up One, tew, thee, for, faive, sis, seven, eight, nane, tey, was about to do his butt push-up elethy, twey, thery, fory, fify, saty, sevey, atay, nay, TWENTY! collapses tiredly and drools down In your stat-ION! inspects the paper, which is unsoiled Huhhhh... Isn't that clear. Well, let's see if your BUDDY here does any better. gives Stimpy the newspaper. Stimpy starts the paper. He then 'takes' as he catches the headline; "MUDSLIDES IN INDIA" and contentedly relieves his bowels with ease. That's my boy. Here, have a doggie treat. screams happily Stimpy: JOY! the doggie treat on his mouth and dancing side to side George Liquor: at Ren and Stimpy, Ren are looking at Stimpy happily AHEM! and Stimpy was looking George Liquor Today's lesson is discipline. Now your honor to learn discipline, you must learn to misbehave. and Stimpy nods "Yes" Now you see this over here? This is a couch. That couch is a human luxury. It's not the likes of you. You need to learnn your PLACE. and Stimpy nods "Yes" Don't you ever let me catch ya on MY couch. and gets nervous Yes sir, there's nothing but the man hates more, having his lower lifeforms has a non-living possessions. Yep, now go ahead. Get up there. and Stimpy was scared That's right, hop on the couch. You heard me! Sit on the COUCH! Come on, make me mad! Make me mad or I'm gonna be REALLY MAD!!! sobs, George Liquor was angry SIT ON THE COUCH!!! looks at the Stimpy, Stimpy nods "no" yells MOVE, DON'T MAKE ME SCREAM AT YOU!!!!! was running up the couch and sit on it. Stimpy looks around and he is so happy. George Liquor pops out. Stimpy was screaming. louder WHAT DID I TELLING YOU ABOUT SITTING ON MY COUCH?!?!? runs down offscreen George Liquor: Stimpy and gets furious and head was crazy but ferocious, background was turning dark, Until...... George Liquor hugs Stimpy happily and the background was back to normal That's a good boy. It's discipline that begets love! melts down on the ground and forms up and George Liquor give a doggie treat and Stimpy gives a doggie treat and put on his mouth and starts rocking it like a metronome And what's the matter with YOU? Aren't you afraid a little discipline? nods "no" Why don't you ask me for a discipline? Ren: scared May I have a little discipline? George Liquor: No, I don't think you deserve any discipline. You like it SOFT! You like it EASY! You don't get any discipline. In fact, here! Take 20 bucks, softy. gives a 20 bucks Why don't you take the car while you're at it? Why don't you go see a movie? Ren: Maybe I would take the car, but the goldfish took it. Liquor shocked and Ren covers his mouth George Liquor: Oh, A smartmouth, huh? A SMARTMOUTH! You know what we do to smartmouths around here, dontcha? We give 'em ANOTHER 20 BUCKS! gives another 20 bucks and looks at the viewers sadly Liquor is wearing a sumo outfit. George Liquor: Alright boys, this is it. A real dog that all know how to protect master. Now in order to protect, you must learn how to ATTACK! Come on, boys! ATTACK! Let's go, Rex! ATTACK ME! Stimpy: But you are my kind and beloved master! sobs I CA-A-A-A-AN'T! with pure manic glee, grabs a wooden spatula. This is his chance Ren: But I can! Now go and give me a twenty! hits the spatula at George Liquor, laughs maniacally, hits the spatula at him again and Ren hits the spatula at George Liquor's head. Stimpy: NOOOOO!!! George Liquor: motion Whoa. slow motion, Ren slaps his spatula at George liquor's head. And in normal motion, Ren slaps his spatula at George Liquor's head. George Liquor's eye pops out and drools down and blinks twice in one eye. Ren: It's discipline that begets love! slaps his spatula at George Liquor twice Stimpy: NOOOOO!!! his ears off and hugs Ren YOU LISTEN, he's our master! Ren: SHUT UP! You're next, Mr. doggie treats! HI-YA! slaps George Liquor repeatedly George Liquor: OW OW! OW OW! OOCH! OW OW! OUCH! HARDER! OOH OOH OOH! OW! OH! OW! OOH! Ren: You must learn your PLACE!! slaps him one last time, George Liquor drools down on the ground unconscious. Ren laughs maniacally in a triumphant pose on top of George, throws away with the spatula and hops out Stimpy: You did it now, Ren. sniffs NOW YOU'VE REALLY DONE IT! crying loudly, Ren was about to touch Stimpy, Stimpy slaps on Ren's hand DON'T touch me! Ren: Ahh, stop your whining. If you think I'm your afraid of that big dumb, you've got another thing coming. Liquor turns red and groans. He pulls out of sumo outfit and he's grumpy at Ren. Ren inhales and he looks at George Liquor. Stimpy smiles. Ren screams and makes a "wild take". George Liquor grabs Ren, grins evilly George Liquor: pants Yooooooooooou... at Ren happily and the skin turns to normal are a true CHAMPION! Liquor hugs Ren. Stimpy sighs. George Liquor has three Rubber Lawn Cigar Doggie Treats. Ren and Stimpy was happy. George Liquor, Ren and Stimpy will put doggie treats on his mouth and he three dancing from side to side. The iris was closing completely at the end of the episode. Category:Episode Transcripts